I Judged Her Too Quickly. I Was Wrong

Sometimes the person we underestimate is simply doing things differently from how we would.
 
I regularly work on my business for a few hours at a time in a local café.
 
It has recently been refurbished, it’s air-conditioned and, particularly in the mornings, it is generally quiet. It has become a nice place for me to sit with my laptop, enjoy a pot of tea and get some work done.
 
Over time, I have got to recognise some of the staff.
 
There is one young lady who is always pleasant and friendly, but I noticed she seemed to work at quite a slow, deliberate pace.
 
And I made a judgement.
 
I remember thinking she could move a little faster and get things done more quickly.
 
I was wrong.
 
 
Then One Morning Changed My Mind
 
I arrived one morning when she was working on her own.
 
The second member of staff wasn’t due to arrive until 10.30 am, by which time the café would normally start getting busier.
 
But this particular morning didn’t follow the normal pattern.
 
Suddenly, a large number of customers arrived at almost the same time.
 
And seemingly everyone wanted a full English breakfast!
 
I looked up from my laptop and thought she was going to be overwhelmed.
 
But as I continued working, I began to watch what was happening.
 
She didn’t panic.
 
She didn’t suddenly start rushing around.
 
She didn’t become flustered or stressed.
 
She continued at the same steady, deliberate pace I had previously judged her for.
 
But now I saw it differently.
 
She would take an order from a person or family, prepare what was needed, deliver the food and then move calmly on to the next customer.
 
One order at a time.
 
One customer at a time.
 
No panic.
 
No drama.
 
Just calm, methodical action.
 
Slow Isn’t Always Slow
 
What happened next fascinated me.
 
The queue disappeared.
 
Before I knew it, the café was half full of happy customers enjoying their breakfasts.
 
She had handled the whole situation brilliantly.
 
The very quality I had interpreted as being slow was actually one of her greatest strengths.
 
She was calm.
 
She was organised.
 
She was methodical.
 
And under pressure, she didn’t change.
 
I was genuinely impressed.
 
But I was also reminded of something important about myself.
 
I had judged her too quickly.
 
I had formed an opinion based on what I had seen when the café was quiet, without ever seeing how she performed under real pressure.
 
 
The Power of Encouragement
 
Before I left, I made a point of telling her how impressed I had been with the way she handled everything.
 
I could see that my words meant something to her.
 
And something else has happened since.
 
Whenever I walk into the café now, she smiles when she sees me. She makes eye contact and often finds a reason to connect.
 
Perhaps a few genuine words of encouragement made a difference to her.
 
I know the experience certainly made a difference to me.
 
It taught me a simple but important lesson about how quickly we can form opinions about other people.
 
It reminded me how easy it is to put labels on people.
 
Too slow.
 
Too quiet.
 
Not confident enough.
 
Not leadership material.
 
Not ready.
 
But how often are those judgements based on incomplete information?
 
We see a snapshot and think we have seen the whole film.
 
We haven’t.
 
Sometimes people need the right situation before their strengths become visible.
 
And sometimes we need to look again.
 
 
Three Key Takeaways
 
1. Don’t judge people too quickly
What initially looks like a weakness may turn out to be a strength in the right circumstances.
 
2. Calmness is a performance skill
Being busy isn’t the same as being effective. Under pressure, calm and methodical action can outperform frantic activity.
 
3. Tell people when they impress you
Don’t just think something positive about someone. Tell them. A few sincere words of encouragement can have a far greater impact than we realise.
 
 
Thoughts for the Week 

1. Who have I formed an opinion about too quickly?
2. Whose strengths might I be overlooking because they do things differently from me?
3. Who could I encourage this week by simply telling them something I’ve noticed and appreciated?

 
That morning in a café taught me a lesson I wasn’t expecting.
 
I thought I was watching someone who needed to speed up.
 
Instead, I was watching someone who knew exactly how to stay calm and perform under pressure.
 
Sometimes people don’t need to change.
 
Sometimes we need to change the way we see them.

 
Well, that’s it for this week.
 
Have a wonderful week ahead and keep believing in yourself.
 
Warm regards
 
John

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