Over the years, I have studied hundreds of famous people who have overcome enormous difficulties and setbacks.
Sportspeople. Business leaders. Explorers. Entrepreneurs.
Their stories are inspirational, and I have always been fascinated by how they found the mental resilience to keep going when life became difficult.
But sometimes you don’t have to look at somebody famous to find an extraordinary example of resilience.
Sometimes it’s sitting right next to you.
For me, that person is my wife, Julie.
JUST GETTING ON WITH LIFE
Julie has worked in relatively low-paid jobs all her life.
She spent ten years working in a hospital helping elderly patients with dementia. She has worked in a factory, as a cleaner and for many years in a shop serving customers.
From the time her child was three years old, Julie brought them up on her own.
She had to be Mum and Dad.
She worked, cooked, cleaned, did the gardening and dealt with all the challenges of bringing up a child alone.
There were difficult times.
There were tears.
But she kept going.
SHE HAD A DREAM
Julie was incredibly careful with money.
Charity shops became a regular part of life, where she found bargains for clothes, toys and other things they needed.
If she didn’t have the money for something, she didn’t buy it.
But Julie had a dream.
She wanted to own her own home.
Around 30 years ago, despite earning around minimum wage and bringing up a child on her own, she bought a house.
Every month, she paid the mortgage. When she needed more money, she took extra jobs.
She drove an old car, bought second-hand items and went without things other people might have considered necessities.
Then, not long after we met 13 years ago, something remarkable happened.
Julie made the final payment on her mortgage.
Take a minute to process that.
On minimum wage, while raising a child as a single mum, she bought and paid for her own home.
She owned it outright.
NOW COMPARE THAT WITH ME
When I met Julie, my financial position couldn’t have been more different.
During my career in sales and marketing, I had earned some very good salaries.
But I had spent the money.
I had a house worth less than I owed on it, plus around £40,000 in debt.
Julie had earned a fraction of what I had earned.
Yet she owned her home and had no debt.
Why?
PAIN BEFORE PLEASURE
I had spent years living:
Pleasure first. Pain later.
I enjoyed myself, spent the money and worried about the consequences later.
Eventually, the pain arrived.
I ended up broke, depressed and feeling hopeless.
Julie did the opposite.
Pain first. Pleasure later.
She delayed gratification.
She saved. She planned. She made sacrifices.
Eventually, the pleasure arrived in the form of something far more valuable than another new car or expensive purchase.
Security. Freedom. Peace of mind.
A LESSON FROM HER DAD
Julie’s dad taught her two simple lessons:
Save a bit and spend a bit.
And:
If you rent, you’ll never own a brick. Not one!
Julie never forgot them.
She refused to use credit for anything apart from her mortgage and learned to live within her means.
Over our 13 years together, she has completely changed my attitude towards money.
Even today, we have envelopes where we put money aside each week for things we know we will eventually need.
THIS IS MENTAL RESILIENCE
We often think resilience has to involve overcoming an enormous tragedy or achieving something extraordinary.
It doesn’t.
Sometimes resilience is getting up and going to work when you’re exhausted.
It’s saying no to something you want today because you want something more important tomorrow.
It’s making the mortgage payment month after month.
It’s raising a child when you’re tired and worried about money.
It’s doing the right thing again and again when nobody is watching.
There were no newspaper articles about Julie.
No medals.
No standing ovations.
Just years of quiet determination.
And to me, that makes her story every bit as inspirational as the stories of many of the famous people I have written about.
Thank you, Julie, for teaching me one of the most important lessons of my life:
Sometimes a little pain today creates a lot more pleasure tomorrow.
THREE KEY LEARNINGS
1. Delay gratification
You don’t have to have everything today. Being prepared to wait can create something far more valuable tomorrow.
2. Small decisions become big results
Julie didn’t change her life with one enormous decision. She did it through thousands of small, sensible decisions repeated over many years.
3. Resilience isn’t always dramatic
Sometimes the strongest people quietly get on with life and do what needs to be done without anybody noticing.
THREE THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEK
1. Where are you choosing pleasure now that could create pain later?
2. What small sacrifice could you make today that your future self would thank you for?
3. Who in your life demonstrates quiet mental resilience and deserves to be recognised for it?
Well, that’s it for this week.
Have a brilliant week ahead and keep believing in yourself.
Warm regards
John
Off the Wall https://tinyurl.com/3tvr892z
100 Days https://tinyurl.com/4vsejtur
