In 2010, aged 56, I thought my life had fallen apart.
I lived in Sheffield in a house that was worth less than I owed on it.
For years, I had lived by a simple philosophy without even realising it:
Pleasure first. Pain later.
I borrowed money to buy things I couldn’t afford and then spent the next couple of years paying for them.
Before one loan ended, another would often start.
I had an interest-only mortgage because it gave me more disposable income.
And I certainly disposed of it!
I ate at the best restaurants, enjoyed myself and didn’t have a private pension because that would have meant having less money to spend.
Why wait when I could have what I wanted now?
PLEASURE FIRST. PAIN LATER.
Then came a decision that would make things considerably worse.
I borrowed against my house to buy a property in Cape Verde.
Then the 2008 financial crash hit.
I couldn’t raise the remaining 50% I needed to complete the purchase, and eventually lost everything I had invested.
I was left with a mortgage far bigger than my house was worth.
I was stuck.
Eventually, I couldn’t take any more.
I decided to move back to Nottingham to live with my mum, and I rented the house out because I couldn’t sell it.
The night before the move, I was packing everything, ready for two friends to arrive with a removal van at 7 am.
I’d badly underestimated how long the packing would take.
At 2 am, exhausted and with hours of work still ahead, I decided to drive out to get something to eat and drink to keep me awake.
I pulled into an empty 24-hour Asda car park.
And then it happened.
I fell asleep at the wheel.
My car hit a huge lamppost head-on at around 30mph.
The engine was completely wrecked.
The store manager helped me push the car to the edge of the car park.
Fortunately, I wasn’t badly injured.
I walked home, called the insurance company and carried on packing.
My friends arrived at 7 am.
We loaded the van and drove to Nottingham.
That evening, I found myself back in the same bedroom I’d grown up in as a child.
I was 56.
My second marriage had failed.
I was on my own.
I was out of work.
My house was in negative equity.
My car had been written off.
I felt depressed and hopeless.
I genuinely believed it was all over.
BUT IT WASN’T.
I couldn’t see it then, but that wasn’t the end of my story.
It was the beginning of a new one.
I started again.
I established a painting and decorating business.
Then, gradually, I moved into training, speaking and coaching.
Eventually, I began working internationally.
I wrote two books.
Then I met Julie, and we got married. Eleven years later, we are still very happily married.
The man lying in his childhood bedroom at 56 could never have imagined the life that was still ahead of him.
THAT’S WHY I WANT TO SHARE THIS STORY
If you’re going through a difficult period right now, please don’t assume that how life looks today is how it will always look.
Things can change.
It takes time.
It takes hard work.
It takes determination.
And sometimes it takes the self-belief to keep moving when you can’t yet see where the road is taking you.
But there is always hope.
And by the way…
I eventually learned my lesson.
I no longer live pleasure then pain.
I live pain then pleasure.
Do the difficult things first.
Make the sacrifices.
Put the work in.
Delay some of the pleasure.
Because the pleasure that comes afterwards feels so much better when you know you’ve earned it.
And today?
Life is incredible.
3 KEY LEARNINGS
1. Your lowest point doesn’t have to be your final destination.
No matter how difficult life feels today, your circumstances can change.
2. Pain then pleasure beats pleasure then pain.
Doing the difficult things now can create freedom, security and happiness later.
3. Never underestimate what can happen when you keep going.
Hard work, time and self-belief can take you somewhere you cannot yet imagine.
THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEK
Remember:
It’s not what happens to you; it’s how you respond.
Well, that’s it for this week.
Have a great week ahead and keep believing in yourself.
Warm regards
John
Off the Wall https://tinyurl.com/3tvr892z
100 Days https://tinyurl.com/4vsejtur
