When Life Knocks You Back, Keep Moving Forward

This week, I had the privilege of delivering my Mental Resilience Masterclass to students at Derby College as part of their Higher Education Induction.
 
The students were beginning Foundation Degrees and BA (Hons) Top-Up programmes across a wide range of subjects, including Criminal Justice and Offender Management, Animal Management, Equine Studies, Sports Performance, Education and Coaching.
 
Chrissie Draper, Programme Leader for BA Security & Offender Management, invited me.
 
I’ve known Chrissie for many years, and over the past seven years she has invited me back numerous times to work with and inspire both staff and students.
 
It was wonderful to be back.
 
 
YOUR PAST DOESN’T DEFINE YOUR FUTURE
 
I began by sharing some of my own story.
 
At school, I struggled with reading and was ridiculed because of it.
 
Then a trip to Poland changed my life.
 
I met my uncle, who played basketball for the Polish Army. He inspired me to take up the sport, and that decision eventually led me to play professionally and represent England.
 
But achieving your dream doesn’t mean everything suddenly becomes easy.
 
Within five weeks of becoming a professional basketball player, I suffered a slipped disc.
 
At the time, it felt devastating. It felt like my career could be over before it had really begun.
 
With chiropractic treatment, determination and persistence, I managed to continue playing.
 
My career eventually finished with me playing in front of around 10,000 people in London, live on BBC television, and being part of the Sunderland team that won the biggest competition in British basketball.
 
Something that initially looked like the end wasn’t the end at all.
 
 
WHAT ARE YOU TELLING YOURSELF?
 
One of the most important subjects I talked about was our inner voice.
 
Our thoughts affect our feelings, and our feelings influence our actions.
 
Constantly tell yourself, “I can’t do this,” “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m going to fail,” and think about what happens to your confidence, energy and motivation.
 
Change the conversation.
 
“I can learn.”
 
“I can improve.”
 
“I’ll give it a go.”
 
“I can do this.”
 
Self-belief matters because what you believe about yourself can influence how far you’re prepared to go.
 
There’s a well-known saying: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”
 
You have to believe it before you can achieve it.
 
 
FAILURE IS PART OF SUCCESS
 
I also encouraged the students not to fear failure.
 
Failure isn’t the opposite of success. It can be part of the journey towards it.
 
We grow when we’re challenged. We develop resilience by facing difficult situations, learning from them, and moving forward.
 
That’s where reframing can be so powerful.
 
When something goes wrong, rather than focusing solely on the negative, ask:
 
“What can I learn from this?”
 
“What can I do differently?”
 
“What opportunity might come from this?”
 
Sometimes changing the way we look at something changes what we do next.
 
 
THEN CAME THE BASKETBALL…
 
I finished the session by spinning a basketball on my finger.
 
And, thankfully, it worked the first time!
 
That mattered more than the students realised.
 
Several months earlier, I finished a keynote presentation at the Rothera Bray LLP conference by attempting the same thing.
 
After time out following a shoulder surgery, it took me four attempts to get the ball spinning!
 
I vowed that wouldn’t happen again.
 
So, for the last few months, I’ve practised twice every day.
 
My rule is simple:
 
I have to spin the ball successfully ten times in a row before I can stop.
 
Small and often.
 
Again and again.
 
Until something that once required conscious effort becomes automatic.
 
That’s how confidence and competence are built.
 
We often admire the result.
 
We don’t see the repetition behind it.
 
 
3 KEY LEARNINGS

• Believe it before you achieve it. Your inner voice can either support you or hold you back.
• Reframe failure. Ask what you can learn rather than allowing a setback to define you.
• Small and often wins. Consistent practice builds skills, confidence and eventually habits that feel automatic.

 
 
3 THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY

1. What are you currently telling yourself that might be holding you back? 
2. What apparent failure or setback could you reframe as an opportunity to learn? 
3. What could you practise for just a few minutes every day that would make a significant difference over time?

 
It was so good to spend time with the students as they began this next chapter of their lives.
 
A huge thank you to Chrissie for the opportunity to inspire them and, especially, for her continued support over so many years.
 
And to the students:
 
Believe in yourself. Keep learning. Keep practising. And when life knocks you back, keep moving forward.
 
Well, that’s it for today.
 
Have a wonderful week ahead and keep believing.
 
Warm regards

John

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