Developing a Positive Inner Voice


We have an inner voice that speaks to us consciously and unconsciously all the time. Our self-esteem and self-image are developed by how we talk to ourselves. When our inner voice becomes critical, it drags us down until we cannot have adequate love or esteem for ourselves.

Everyone has an inner critic. All of us have conscious an unconscious memories of all the times we felt bad or wrong, they are part of the unavoidable scars of childhood. This is where the critical inner voice gets started.

An internal voice may remind us of past failures, sorrows or disappointments, torture us with criticism or verbal abuse, describe frightening or unpleasant futures, or disturb us in other ways.

The critical inner voice is the part of us that is turned against ourselves. It is the defended, negative side of our personality that is opposed to our on-going development. It is a hostile, judgemental advisor.

We are what we think about all day long.

Effects of the critical inner voice

Developing a Positive Inner Voice is vital to developing Mental Resilience – without commanding positive self-talk it is not possible to be positive and happy.


If I was asked to name the single most important technique I have used to develop my Mental Resilience it would have to be developing a positive inner voice. This seems to work really well, and is a life changer for many people once they learn the techniques involved.

Positive self-talk usually consists of words or brief phrases that inspire, motivate, or remind us to focus and keep moving.

Phrases like, ‘keep your head down,’ ‘let’s go,’ and, ‘breathe,’ help us focus our attention and trigger the hopefully ideal response and action for the task at hand. Some of my positive inner voice phrases when I feel overwhelmed are, ‘just do one thing at a time.’ ‘I can do it,’ ‘I’m good at this,’ ‘I’m excited,’ and, ‘bring it on!’

“If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.”


Here is a FREE Action Plan to help guide you towards commanding a POSITIVE INNER VOICE. Be sure to get in touch for more information and help with this and all other pillars of Mental Resilience. 

1. Notice what you’re already saying to yourself

Most of us don’t give conscious attention to the voices rambling in our heads. Consciously tune into your self-talk; you can’t change it if you are not aware of it. Identify an area of your life where you are especially critical of yourself and then pay attention to what the criticisms are.

2. Articulate the attacks in the second person

It is valuable to articulate these self-attacks in the second person, as ‘you’ statements. For example, instead of saying, ‘I feel so lazy and useless,’ say, ‘you are so lazy. You’re useless.’ Using this format, the critical thoughts are expressed as they are heard, which often leads to identifying the hostility that underlies this self-attacking system.

3. Take Control and focus on something else

Whenever you hear that voice, think of something positive in your life. Think about a loved one or a funny joke, anything to get you back in a positive mindset. Go for a walk – sometimes just doing something physical gives us enough endorphins to actually feel better about ourselves.

4. Pick your own personal power phrase

Pick three of four phrases that feel good. You may even feel a rush of energy when you say them and practise them out loud. Choose words that inspire you, motivate you, make you laugh or boost your mood – for example, ‘you are good at this,’ or, ‘you’re the Man!’

5. Try the Power of Possible Thinking

When you’re feeling down and force yourself to say positive things to yourself, you often end up feeling worse, because your internal lie detector goes off. An alternative is a technique called possible thinking, which involves using neutral thoughts about any situation and naming the facts. For example, ‘I’m a fat blob,’ becomes, ‘I’d like to lose 10 pounds and I know how to do it.’ The facts give you a lot more choices and directions you can go in.

6. Embrace your own imperfections

It’s enormously freeing to stop holding yourself to ridiculously high standards. Perfectionism is destructive. Interviews with successful CEOs and award-winning athletes found that they credit their success to a willingness to make mistakes and move on, rather than consistently trying to be perfect.

7. Put all of your negative stuff in a box

When we’re being attacked by negativity, a tiny blunder is inflated into a huge failure. So the next time a negative thought intrudes, take a few deep breaths and then quickly narrow it down and put your problems into the smallest imaginary box possible.

8. Remember to take small steps

Instead of getting frustrated because you keep being attacked, just keep doing whatever it is that you love doing. You’ll find that you’re happiest then. This will encourage you to keep going.


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Click to find out more or get in touch for a free initial call with John. 


Our courses, masterclasses and coaching sessions can be tailored to suit you and your budget. Whether it’s a one hour 1-2-1 call with John, a full training series for you and your team or a Keynote talk at an event or conference, we can design the right Mental Resilience programme for you. Grab one of John’s books to get your journey started and why not book a FREE initial 20-minute call?

About john

The Mental Resilience and Personal growth Expert

Author and International speaker John Dabrowski, The Mental Resilience Expert, has spent over 40 years in the business world, putting him in a unique position to deal with contemporary business challenges.

Over the past 7 years he has helped thousands of people to improve their mental health and mental resilience. Today as we begin to recover from the pandemic people’s mental health and level of mental resilience will be hugely important for years to come.

John has played basketball both as a professional and for England in the Commonwealth Games and once scored an unprecedented 98 points in one match and this remains the current British record to his day. He was a top performing premier league basketball club manager for the Manchester Giants. He then went on to become a high achieving radio sales manager and a multi award winning agency director in the advertising and marketing world.

His inspirational, thought provoking, entertaining and content-rich “Mental Resilience” series of Keynote talks, Masterclasses and Coaching programmes can be delivered face to face or online. These are regularly accredited as the inspiration for dramatic improvement and success where people discover secrets and tools to achieve sustained business and personal growth.

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