HOW TO DEVELOP WORLD CLASS MENTAL RESILIENCE
POSITIVE INNER VOICE or POSITIVE SELF-TALK
Developing a Positive Inner Voice
WE ALWAYS LISTEN TO WHAT WE TELL OURSELVES.
We have an inner voice that speaks to us consciously and unconsciously all the time. Our self-esteem and self-image are developed by how we talk to ourselves. When our inner voice becomes critical, it drags us down until we cannot have adequate love or esteem for ourselves.
Everyone has an inner critic. All of us have conscious an unconscious memories of all the times we felt bad or wrong, they are part of the unavoidable scars of childhood. This is where the critical inner voice gets started.
An internal voice may remind us of past failures, sorrows or disappointments, torture us with criticism or verbal abuse, describe frightening or unpleasant futures, or disturb us in other ways.
The critical inner voice is the part of us that is turned against ourselves. It is the defended, negative side of our personality that is opposed to our on-going development. It is a hostile, judgemental advisor.
Effects of the critical inner voice
WHAT ACTION CAN YOU TAKE?
If I was asked to name the single most important technique I have used to develop my Mental Resilience it would have to be developing a positive inner voice. This seems to work really well, and is a life changer for many people once they learn the techniques involved.
Positive self-talk usually consists of words or brief phrases that inspire, motivate, or remind us to focus and keep moving.
Phrases like, ‘keep your head down,’ ‘let’s go,’ and, ‘breathe,’ help us focus our attention and trigger the hopefully ideal response and action for the task at hand. Some of my positive inner voice phrases when I feel overwhelmed are, ‘just do one thing at a time.’ ‘I can do it,’ ‘I’m good at this,’ ‘I’m excited,’ and, ‘bring it on!’
Here is a FREE Action Plan to help guide you towards commanding a POSITIVE INNER VOICE. Be sure to get in touch for more information and help with this and all other pillars of Mental Resilience.
1. Notice what you’re already saying to yourself
Most of us don’t give conscious attention to the voices rambling in our heads. Consciously tune into your self-talk; you can’t change it if you are not aware of it. Identify an area of your life where you are especially critical of yourself and then pay attention to what the criticisms are.
2. Articulate the attacks in the second person
It is valuable to articulate these self-attacks in the second person, as ‘you’ statements. For example, instead of saying, ‘I feel so lazy and useless,’ say, ‘you are so lazy. You’re useless.’ Using this format, the critical thoughts are expressed as they are heard, which often leads to identifying the hostility that underlies this self-attacking system.
3. Take Control and focus on something else
Whenever you hear that voice, think of something positive in your life. Think about a loved one or a funny joke, anything to get you back in a positive mindset. Go for a walk – sometimes just doing something physical gives us enough endorphins to actually feel better about ourselves.
4. Pick your own personal power phrase
Pick three of four phrases that feel good. You may even feel a rush of energy when you say them and practise them out loud. Choose words that inspire you, motivate you, make you laugh or boost your mood – for example, ‘you are good at this,’ or, ‘you’re the Man!’
5. Try the Power of Possible Thinking
When you’re feeling down and force yourself to say positive things to yourself, you often end up feeling worse, because your internal lie detector goes off. An alternative is a technique called possible thinking, which involves using neutral thoughts about any situation and naming the facts. For example, ‘I’m a fat blob,’ becomes, ‘I’d like to lose 10 pounds and I know how to do it.’ The facts give you a lot more choices and directions you can go in.
6. Embrace your own imperfections
It’s enormously freeing to stop holding yourself to ridiculously high standards. Perfectionism is destructive. Interviews with successful CEOs and award-winning athletes found that they credit their success to a willingness to make mistakes and move on, rather than consistently trying to be perfect.
7. Put all of your negative stuff in a box
When we’re being attacked by negativity, a tiny blunder is inflated into a huge failure. So the next time a negative thought intrudes, take a few deep breaths and then quickly narrow it down and put your problems into the smallest imaginary box possible.
8. Remember to take small steps
Instead of getting frustrated because you keep being attacked, just keep doing whatever it is that you love doing. You’ll find that you’re happiest then. This will encourage you to keep going.
More FREE Online RESOURCES to HELP you
build MENTAL RESILIENCE and positive MINDSET CONTROL.
Here are some FREE online resources to help you on your Mental Resilience and Positive Mindset journey. Simply click to discover tools and techniques that will help you today.
MENTAL RESILIENCE and MINDSET
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Author and International speaker John Dabrowski, The Mental Resilience Expert, has spent over 40 years in the business world, putting him in a unique position to deal with contemporary business challenges.
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