It has been a great few weeks – I’ve been busy in Dubai, travelling all over England and last Friday I enjoyed speaking to 300 Year 12 and 13 students at a Grammar School in Grantham. This was a great school with really attentive students who appeared to receive a lot from the talk on Mental Resilience. At the end of the talk I was approached by one of the students who asked if she could have one of my books free if she could spin the basketball on her finger for 10 seconds.
Spinning the basketball on my finger is something I always finish my talks with and this had become my personal branding. When I was in Dubai four weeks ago, I was interviewed by the Khaleej Times for a feature in their weekend magazine on Personal Branding. I had a 3 page feature the last time I was there in June and they felt I had developed a really strong personal brand with the basketball and Mental Resilience.
She challenged me and won
It had taken me 2 years to learn how to spin that ball on my finger as a young man, so I accepted the challenge this student set me, believing that she wouldn’t be able to do it. You won’t be surprised that she spun the basketball on her first attempt for 10 seconds and received her free book from me. She was confident enough to challenge me and confident enough to spin that ball! You know what else she had? She had a positive inner voice.
Confidence is tied to your inner voice and you need a positive inner voice to have confidence. Most of the news we hear is negative and most of the soaps on TV are negative so we are predisposed to negative talk. As children growing up the most common word we hear is NO! If we have busy parents who don’t have the time to spend encouraging us we will usually be exposed to regular bursts of negative words. The words our parents speak become our Inner Voice.
What we say to ourselves really counts
What we say to ourselves through our inner voice, determines who we become. If our inner voice tells us that we aren’t good at this or we can’t do that, then over time we come to believe that and that is who we become. We have told ourselves over and over that we can’t do this or that and this has become our reality. We really believe this to be true – but it may not be!
You may have been told as a youngster that you are useless at Maths or English, or that you will never amount to much and that has become your reality and your belief system. But these are just words – however spoken words are very powerful and in just the same way that you heard negative words and you believed them about yourself, you can now hear positive words and believe those instead.
Julie has such confidence now
This is what I do in my coaching sessions with remarkable results. It is such a joy to spend some time with a client who has confidence issues and then see them change in front of my eyes with encouragement, positive words and a few techniques.
A great example of this is my wife Julie who is a gentle lady and who was very shy when I met her 3 years ago. With some encouraging positive words and a few techniques she is now a much more confident person who has recently spoken confidently at a wedding, a carol service and a funeral.
Sorry for the delayed blog
As I write this blog this Sunday evening she is at a Carol Service not only serving coffee but also reading using a microphone in front of everyone. The reason I am not there and why this blog is delayed (I’m sorry about this), is that I have a throat and chest infection and am recovering at home. I made the decision to stay indoors for the whole weekend to keep this to myself and not pass it to anyone, but to also let my voice rest and recover.
What you See and what you Say is what you Get. This is my quote and the second part refers to your inner voice or self-talk. If your inner voice is negative, you will tend to have a more negative life and if positive you will tend to have a more positive life. We are constantly speaking to ourselves at around 5 times the speed of our spoken words and we can’t switch this inner voice off.
Change what you say to yourself
The only thing we can do is to change what we are saying to yourselves. To help you do this I am offering a list of statements which I have put together from Masterclasses I have run on this subject. This is a list of positive statements from which you can choose four or five to become your positive inner dialogue. This creates a positive inner voice which helps you deal with pressure better and enables you to live a happier life.
To receive these positive statements just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will happily send you the list completely free of charge. I used to be a nervous wreck as a young man until I discovered the truth of the inner voice, this is when I started to talk positively over my life and everything changed. I am now in the privileged position to share this with thousands of people every year.
Thoughts for the week.
1. What does your inner voice sound like?
2. You can replace the words inner voice with what are you thinking?
3. You need to be very aware of what you are saying to yourself
4. If you find that you have more negative words/thoughts than positive ones, then you really need to do something about this
5. The best way to create a more positive inner voice is to pick a few short positive phrases and repeat those over and over
6. Another great way to improve your thinking is to list off a few things you are grateful for
Well that’s it from a slightly under the weather John, but as you know it’s not what happens to you which counts but how you respond to it!
Have a great week ahead and stay positive.
Off the Wall – How to Develop World Class Mental Resilience available here
https://www.jdmindcoach.com/product/off-the-wall-how-to-develop-world-class-mental-resilience/ (Special free delivery offer currently available)