I remember very clearly how nervous I was as an 18 year old having to introduce professor Brown to four students sat round a table ready for our lecture from him. I remember clearly the sweaty palms, the fast beating heart and a noise in my ears which was deafening.
To calm myself down I went to the toilet and tried to talk to myself as I couldn’t understand why I was so nervous over such a small thing. But now I understand through NLP and Counselling training that I had an anchor to negative experiences in the past which triggered these negative emotions and nothing I did could get rid of them.
There is no happy ending to this story…. I bottled and he had to introduce himself!! I remember looking at the students opposite in fear, then looking out of the window where the sun was shining and the grass was green but all I wanted was the world to swallow me up. I can see this clearly today as though it was yesterday, the only difference is that I have removed the emotions associated with this event.
As I relayed this story in my talk this week on stage at the excellent Love Business East Midlands event, I was amazed (as I always am) that I was stood in front of an audience a great deal larger than the four students I froze in front of – but this time I was loving the experience. How is that possible? It intrigues me to this day how someone can change so much with a few simple techniques. These techniques are something I teach in my confidence workshop https://www.jdmindcoach.com/training/confidence-building/
I had such a good time this week presenting my Mental Resilience talk and the feedback afterwards was so positive – it gave me a real buzz that my story can inspire so many people. The feedback I received mentioned my authenticity, the good use of video clips, the use of real stories and techniques which make it easy to listen without switching off. The word inspirational comes through time and time again, and as I speak more and more around the country I’m finding people coming to see me speak to be inspired again.
The basic reason people find it hard to speak in public is a combination of their self-talk and their belief system. Both of these combined can be a powerful mix which destroys confidence and self-belief. By addressing these two issues with some simple techniques people can very quickly speak in front of groups of people without the usual symptoms of fear, anxiety, sweating, shaking, feeling sick and hating the experience.
My story is that when I was 5 years of age I couldn’t speak a word of English as I was born to Polish parents and could speak good Polish but no English. In school in those days we had to stand up to read in English class and when I stood up and struggled to read I could hear the other pupils laughing at me. Then I would sit down humiliated and would repeat this process every time we had reading classes. This had a profound effect on my confidence and is why I couldn’t introduce Professor Brown to those 4 students.
I was very fortunate to be given a simple technique when I was in my 20’s which helped me develop the positive mindset which changed my inner voice from negative to positive and has resulted in my speaking career taking off and me loving every minute of the experience. I still find it hard to believe as I stand up in front of large audiences that I don’t feel nervous or scared and actually find it a real thrill and privilege to share from the stage.
At the Love Business East Midlands event I launched my new banner which reflects what I am about, which is having The Mindset To Succeed. I’m really looking forward to the coming year where I am booked to speak to some large and influential audiences who I can inspire and share some golden nuggets which have changed my life.