Blog
I came across this article about Fear and how we can create this with our negative thinking.
Fear of the Future
“Five hundred years ago, Michel de Montaigne said: “My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.” Now there’s a study that proves it.
This study looked into how many of our imagined calamities never materialize. In this study, subjects were asked to write down their worries over an extended period of time and then identify which of their imagined misfortunes did not actually happen.
Lo and behold, it turns out that 85 percent of what subjects worried about never happened, and with the 15 percent that did happen, 79 percent of subjects discovered either they could handle the difficulty better than expected, or the difficulty taught them a lesson worth learning.
This means that 97 percent of what you worry over is not much more than a fearful mind punishing you with exaggerations and misperceptions.
Montaigne’s quote has made people laugh for five centuries, but worry is no joke. The stress it generates causes serious problems.
The stress hormones that worry dumps into your brain have been linked to shrinking brain mass, lowering your IQ, being prone to heart disease, cancer and premature aging, predicting martial problems, family dysfunction and clinical depression, and making seniors more likely to develop dementia and Alzheimer’s.
If we could get a handle on the worry that habitually, incessantly, and often unconsciously seizes hold of our mind, we would greatly increase the odds of living a longer, happier, and more successful life.
But don’t worry; new research has found that you can rewire your brain to stop worrying. It starts with the decision not to believe the misfortune that your worried thoughts see in your future.
93-year-old lady
An example of someone who made that decision is an elderly woman my friend Martha was asked to drive to the clinic for an annual check-up. Martha didn’t know this woman. All she was told was that this person was more than 90 years old and probably quite frail.
But the person who opened the door when Martha knocked could hardly be described as old and frail. The person who stood before Martha was a sprightly lady who appeared to be in her seventies at most.
“Do you mind me asking how old you are?” Martha asked on the drive to the doctor.
“93,” the woman answered.
Martha was astonished. “You look so much younger,” she said. “What’s your secret?”
“Well, honey,” she answered, “30 years ago I made the decision to stop worrying and I haven’t wasted a moment on worry since.”
It was this decision that made her younger and healthier than her chronological age. Think of all the energy she gained through her decision not to worry. Think of all the anxiety she spared herself, all the needless stress she avoided. Martha said that it showed on her face, in her attitude, and in how well her brain functioned.
It’s possible to make this same choice to let go of worry and gradually move past worry altogether. You can rewire your brain to quiet the worry circuit. It takes a decision, and it takes a special kind of practice, but it’s simpler than you might imagine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
A simple approach to dissolving worry is called “Finish Each Day and Be Done with It.” It facilitates the choice to let go of the day’s problems, so you don’t take them home.
This piece of wisdom comes from a letter written by the great American philosopher, Ralph Waldo Emerson, to his daughter who was worried over a mistake she’d made. This is what it says:
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders, losses, and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; let today go so you can begin tomorrow well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. Each new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays.”
By “old nonsense”, Emerson is referring to our worries and woes. The two are synonymous. In the study I cited, nonsense and worry were one and the same thing — not once in a while — but nearly every single time.
I invite you to cut-and-paste the statement and post it where you’ll see it at the close of your workday. If you allow Emerson’s words to release you completely from your day’s labour, your evening is guaranteed to be more enjoyable, more relaxing, and more restorative. You’ll also sleep better.
I’ve framed Emerson’s statement and placed it on my desk, and I read it with conviction before closing up shop for the day. Then I head into the evening committed to being happy and at peace, so I can enjoy the people and things I love.”
I have developed this skill
When I read this, I realised that I have developed this skill to finish the day and not take it into the evening. I finish up at 7pm, switch off my laptop, tidy my desk, and enjoy the evening with my wife Julie. I don’t think about the business challenges or any other negative things going on in my life.
This means I can really enjoy the evening and I sleep like a baby. The next morning, I pick things up again and get on with the day. Julie often comments how I can switch off so well and I realise that I have developed this over a period of time and like the 93-year-old woman I am told I look younger than my 66 years of age.
This article also makes me think of my 97-year-old mother and how she also doesn’t worry about the future and maintains a positive attitude to life and she certainly doesn’t look her age.
Thoughts for the week:
- Do you worry about the future or dwell on past mistakes?
- Do you create scenarios of where things could end up?
- Think about situations you have worried about.
- How many of these have come true?
- This week work on leaving all your worries behind when you shut up shop for the day and really enjoy your evenings.
That’s it for today have a really relaxing and stress-free weekend.
Warm regards
John
https://jdmindcoach.com/product/off-the-wall-how-to-develop-world-class-mental-resilience/
https://jdmindcoach.com/product/100-days-to-mental-resilience/