Are You Truly Listening?

I came across this article in Word for Today, which resonated with me and reminded me of the person I used to be. It may be age or wisdom, but I have changed dramatically over recent years. I now spend time with people developing relationships, rush around less, and enjoy mindfulness and being in the moment.
 
When it comes to my last days on this planet, I don’t want any regrets and ‘I wish I had done this or that.’ I want peace knowing that I spent time with the people I love and enjoyed relationships with many people.
 
Many people see mindfulness as an excellent technique for being in the moment, whether focussing on something or deep breathing, but it also applies to spending time with people.
 
Have you ever been with someone whose mind is clearly on something else? Their eyes aren’t on you, and their body language tells you they want to be elsewhere.
 
How does this feel? Are you enjoying the interaction, or do you feel undervalued and awkward? People can instinctively pick up on these signals and won’t connect with you meaningfully.
 
 
Be Present in the Moment.
 
“One author writes: ‘One of the strategies I employ is to block enough time so that I’m not thinking about what I must do next. I find it best to wait until I can invest more than a few minutes in being with someone so that the person is not frustrated with my divided attention and tight schedule.’
 
If you keep robbing your loved ones of time, there may come a day when they have no time for you. Ask yourself, ‘Is this person worth more to me than the plan, project, problem, or pressure I’m dealing with?’
 
Learn to enjoy the moment and focus on the person you’re with. Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to answer with more than a yes or no.
 
Listen carefully and ask additional questions. This helps people feel you are engaging with them and caring about their replies. Your thoughts may flit into the future for a few seconds, but instantly push them back into the present by rejecting those concerns.
 
You can attend to them later. Concentrate, concentrate, concentrate. There is great pleasure in doing this after you get used to it.
 
The poet wrote, ‘I wished to live deliberately…and not, when I came to die, discover I had not lived.’ To make sure that doesn’t happen to you. If you have to do with less to enjoy the people you love more, do it; you will never regret it!”
 
 
Mindfulness is critical
 
Mindfulness, or being in the moment, significantly impacts relationships by enhancing communication, emotional connection, and overall understanding. Here’s how it helps: 
 
1. Improved Communication
 
When you’re fully present in a conversation, you listen more attentively and without distractions. This active listening allows you to understand the words being said and the emotions and intentions behind them. As a result, communication becomes clearer and more effective, reducing misunderstandings.
 
2. Deeper Emotional Connection
 
Being in the moment allows you to engage emotionally with your partner, friends, or family members. Focusing on them without letting your mind wander conveys that you value their presence and feelings. This strengthens emotional bonds and helps both parties feel more connected and supported.
 
3. Greater Empathy and Understanding
 
Mindfulness helps you tune into the emotions and perspectives of others. This heightened awareness makes you more empathetic, allowing you to better understand their needs and concerns. With this deeper understanding, you can respond more compassionately and thoughtfully, which fosters a stronger, more supportive relationship.
 
4. Less Reactivity, More Thoughtful Responses
 
Being mindful reduces impulsive reactions during heated moments. Instead of responding out of frustration or anger, mindfulness helps you pause, reflect, and respond calmly. This can defuse tension and prevent conflicts from escalating, promoting healthier interactions.
 
5. Increased Appreciation
 
Practising mindfulness in relationships encourages you to focus on and appreciate the present moment. This can lead to greater gratitude for the other person’s presence, qualities, and shared experiences, enhancing the overall happiness and satisfaction in the relationship.
 
Overall, mindfulness enriches relationships by fostering better communication, deeper emotional bonds, empathy, and reduced conflicts.
 
 
Mindful listening makes a difference.
 
Really listening to people works on both a personal and business level. I remember working in radio sales and discovering the power of listening and asking questions. When I was with a client, I would try to find something they were interested in and then ask questions about that subject.
 
I quickly realised that they loved discussing the subject they were interested in. As long as I was genuinely interested in their response, the interaction was very positive and enjoyable. This often resulted in them doing business with me.
 
What I found most important was to be mindful during the conversation. I fully concentrated on the person speaking and didn’t let my mind wander. If it ever did, I immediately returned to the conversation in seconds.
  
Thoughts for the week: 

1. How can you prioritise being fully present with loved ones this week?
2. Can you remember when someone wasn’t present in a conversation with you? How did that affect the interaction?
3. What mindfulness technique can you use in your next conversation to stay focused?
4. How can mindfulness improve your professional interactions?
5. This week, be fully present in conversations and observe how much they improve.

 
Well, that’s it for this week. Have a wonderful weekend, and keep believing in yourself.
 
Warm regards

John

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