This has been a busy week with a trip to Wales and Bristol to deliver training then a Mental Resilience talk to a year 12 sixth form at a top Nottingham Academy. This was very well received by the students and staff and it gave me a great thrill to be sharing my philosophy with these young minds.
If these young people can grasp the power of a positive mindset and how it can affect their future, they will undergo a mindset change which will forever alter the way they deal with adversity in their lives and how they perform under pressure. During my presentation I was able to share the challenges I had faced as a young boy and how I overcame them.
Frozen with fear
I told them about the time when I was in college and I had to introduce professor Brown to four students sat around a small table and I froze in fear. I remember my hands sweating, my heart beating fast and a loud noise in my head. I went to the toilet to try to calm down and I couldn’t. I had to go back to that table sit down and try to introduce the professor.
As I sat there I remember the four pairs of eyes looking at me and the pressure increasing as they waited for me to speak. I couldn’t concentrate and my inner voice was destroying me. The time seemed to stand still until I heard the professor introduce himself and begin his lecture. I don’t remember hearing a single word he spoke as I tried to comprehend what had just happened.
Inner Voice
Having spent many years studying the mind and how our self-talk can destroy or make us; I realise now that it was a series of negative anchors I had established during my formative years in school. As many of you know I was born to Polish parents and I couldn’t speak any English. I remember having to stand up in English lessons in Primary school to read from a book and I couldn’t.
I remember the laughs and sniggers each time I stood up until a very powerful negative anchor was established to that event. I also remember being left on the wall in PE when the captains were picking their favourite boys to be in their teams. I remember the feelings of rejection and humiliation as all the boys looked at me left on the wall. No-one wanted me.
Negative Anchors
This was another powerful negative anchor which was firmly established during those embarrassing moments in PE. Further negative anchors were established in the playground when I couldn’t speak any English so I had no friends. I remember all the boys running around playing games together laughing and joking as I looked on from a distance. Again another negative anchor was established.
Let me assure you that these negative anchors are real and very powerful. They affect the way we respond to situations in the future and if we don’t break them we will forever be imprisoned by the effect these have on our potential and future. Luckily for me I was introduced to NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and after studying this and becoming a Practitioner and Coach I learned how to break these anchors.
An amazing turnaround
Now my life it completely different. When I was young I couldn’t introduce professor Brown to four students sat around a table. Now I am happy and relaxed speaking to hundreds of people from the stage. Before I would dwell on all the negative things which could happen and no surprise they often did. Now I dwell on the positive and the difference in the outcome, and how I feel, is amazing.
Before my negative anchors were broken I would spend most of my time in a negative mindset and I would draw in more negativity. Now I spend most of my time in a positive mindset and amazingly I draw in more positivity. I have learned how to deal with pressure and a negative mindset, and my life is becoming a very exciting unfolding story.
The future is bright
What makes me very excited is the fact that I am 62 years of age and it feels like I am just starting on a new adventure. I got married to the lovely Julie last year and I have this 18-year plan to be speaking on stage at the age of 80 still spinning that basketball. Those of you who haven’t seen my ball spinning here is the link to my show reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbZYe3vb0C8
I have a burning desire to share the techniques that I have learned which have dramatically changed my life in such a powerful way, to as many people as I can, before I finally retire. In essence I have created a series of positive anchors which work in exactly the opposite way to the negative ones. These actually give me confidence, passion and energy to get this message out there.
An amazing year!
Imagine the impact on these young minds if I can get to them when they are 17 or 18 years of age and they take these principles and apply them to their lives. What a difference they will experience as they slowly develop the positive mindset and let go of the negative mindset. They will develop a new self-belief which will propel them to heights they never dreamed of.
After all who would have thought that this broken boy who had zero confidence would one day – in a single year – do the following. Travel to Dubai on three separate occasions to speak. Would travel to Poland and also Switzerland to speak. Be booked as a Keynote speaker for three legal conferences run by Nat West bank. Travel the length and breadth of the country including Scotland and Wales inspiring businesses. Be interviewed on radio on many occasions and also interviewed Live on a local TV station.
The truth is out there
All the above events have happened this year at the ripe old age of 62 and I believe there is much more to come. So I am keeping those positive anchors firmly in place as I await with excitement the coming months and years. Because you know what – I’ve discovered a couple of truths out there. Firstly, it’s not what happens to you but how you respond to it which counts, and secondly It’s not how you start in life that counts but how you finish!
Thoughts for the week.
1. Think about any areas in your life where you don’t have confidence
2. Take each of these situations and think back to your early years and see if you experienced anything negative which could have created a negative anchor
3. Once you have found the negative experience be assured there is a technique which can break that anchor
4. If you want any help with this, please email me at: john@jdmindcoach.co.uk
Well that’s it for this week.
Have a really good weekend and stay positive.
Warm regards
John
