Don’t Live with Regret Forever

I share the sadness of the passing of Queen Elizabeth 11 with many people. She was a great example of outstanding leadership and in many ways reminded me so much of my mum Janina who is 99 years of age.
 
Queen Elizabeth had such great qualities like patience, forgiveness, love, care, determination, loyalty, a sense of duty, sacrifice, putting others first, work ethic, leadership, commitment, respect for others, embracing change, dedication, devotion, stability, unifying and a strong faith.
 
 
This could be my mum
 
As I look at this list you could be describing my mother. She isn’t famous but in her own quiet way she has lived her life in a similar way. Quietly helping people, sorting problems out, bringing people together, dedicated to bringing her children up and running the home. She also has a strong faith
 
Now at the age of 99 she can’t do any of those things but what she can do is smile, listen, tell the occasional story from years gone by and just be that warm person I have known all my life.
 
 
I feel real emotion
 
When I think of the Queen, I start to feel emotional, and I have to pull myself together and this has surprised me. It’s when I think of what she did in the last few weeks of her life which really staggers me. Two days before she passed away, she met the new Prime Minister Liz Truss at Balmoral – two days!
 
This single act summarises the following commitment she made when she was crowned Queen.
 
“I declare before you all that my whole life whether it be long or short shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong.”
 
 
An admirable declaration
 
She lived her life by this declaration, and it is admirable that she did so. But I think there is another reason I am filled with emotion when I think of the queen’s passing. I believe that deep down I am feeling the future loss of my mum Janina.
 
That day is coming, and I am dreading it. It’s no use pretending that I’m ok with this as she means the world to me and over the past three years, I have had the privilege of looking after her more and more. She has carers coming in, but I do the shopping and take care of specific things for her around the house.
 
This often causes a lot of extra work with sorting all her appointments out and taking her to them, dealing with all the services and banking, the shopping, the vaccinations etc. But you know what it’s worth every minute I spend on my mum and not on my business because she is worth it.
 
This has increased my connection with mum, and we have many silly things we do when we meet and when we say goodbye that only Julie and my brother have seen but it’s these little silly things which make it very special and unique.
 
 
I wasn’t around much
 
There were many years where I hardly ever saw my mum for weeks and months at a time. I used to call her occasionally but that was it. I eventually moved back to the East Midlands to live with mum before I married Julie and moved out.
 
When my sister passed away 3 years ago, I took over the role of looking after mum and although very time consuming at times, I am hugely grateful that I have had this opportunity.  
 
When her time comes it will be very sad, but I am extremely happy that I have had the recent years to develop a great relationship with mum and to pay her back for all the wonderful things she did for me over the years. Most importantly I won’t live with any regrets that I wasn’t around in the latter years.
 
She still phones me every night to say goodnight which gives her (and me) peace of mind to go to sleep having heard each other’s reassuring voices saying goodnight and God bless in Polish. I always speak in Polish to her; I always have because she is more comfortable speaking Polish.
 
 
Thoughts for the week 

1. Is there anyone in your life who you have lost connection with?
2. If there is, can you contact them and re-establish this connection.
3. Life is very short, and relationships are very important.
4. This week think about this and see what names come up and what you can do to connect again.
5. I have been fortunate to be the one who because of geography needs to look after mum but because of this I can live without any regrets. 

 
Well that’s it for this week have a wonderful weekend and keep believing.
 
Warm regards

John

https://jdmindcoach.com/product/off-the-wall-how-to-develop-world-class-mental-resilience/
 
https://jdmindcoach.com/product/100-days-to-mental-resilience/