This Emotion Creates Deep Wounds

It has been a great week topped by a wonderful trip to London to speak to the London Commerce and Industry group on my favourite topic Mental Resilience – Success Strategies for Tough Times. This is something I have been looking forward to for some time and it didn’t disappoint.

The meeting was held at the prestigious DAC Beachcroft LLP offices in central London and the presentation theatre was ideal for the event. The attendees were lawyers in Commerce and Industry and they were very receptive to the message on Mental Resilience and as a bonus I sold a good number of books at the end.

A great organisation

The Commerce and Industry Group (C&I Group) are the organisation for lawyers in commerce and industry, and are the members representative body in respect of the in-house community. They are regularly in touch with the Law Society and other bodies such as the SRA and Legal Services Board to lobby and put forward their members’ views.

I was booked to speak to this group on the back of a talk I gave to the Association of Women Solicitors in Manchester earlier this year. This is very encouraging as my talks are getting recommended on a regular basis now and this bodes well for the future.

Hot topics

Mental Resilience and Wellbeing are very topical and relevant subjects right now, and I am honoured to have developed something which is helping so many people.

I love to research interesting stories across the world and I came across this one recently:

Nails in the Fence

“There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.

Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

He stopped losing his temper

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed, and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

The scars never go away

He said, ‘You’ve done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there, and a verbal wound is just as bad as a physical one.”

I found a way to stop losing my temper

This story reminds me of when I used to lose my temper – I didn’t want to, but I just couldn’t help myself. Then I discovered how my emotions work and I developed a way to avoid losing my temper, and it is still working four years later.

When we lose our temper, we send out negative feelings which we get back like a photocopying machine. I believe that it is important to stay as calm and positive as you can all day long, and if you do then things start to go much better. Our lives seem to reflect our emotions, so if we are more positive life seems to work better.

Thoughts for the week:

1. Do you ever lose your temper? If you do how often do you lose it?
2. You never win when you lose your temper as the wounds go deep.
3. Whenever you lose your temper you experience negative feelings which are bad for you.
4. The more negative feelings you experience the worse things seem to get.
5. Try to develop a way to avoid losing your temper and watch what starts to happen in your life.

I have covered this topic in my book ‘Off the Wall – How do Develop World Class Mental Resilience and as a blog subscriber you can receive a personally signed copy for £10 including postage and packing below.

Well that’s it for this week have a wonderful weekend and stay positive.

Warm regards


Off the Wall – How to Develop World Class Mental Resilience available here (Special offer. Put in code 10POUND when prompted to receive a signed copy for £10 including postage and packing – UK only)

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