From Bankruptcy to Breakthrough: My Journey to Helping Others

This week has been incredible. I’ve had the privilege of working with several clients, coaching them online through their challenges. One is a long-term client based in Germany.
 
Over the years, I’ve realised that there’s no challenge a client brings me that I can’t help with in some way. Much of this comes down to my life experiences and my many challenges.
 
They say you can’t truly empathise with someone unless you’ve walked a similar path — and I’ve found that to be absolutely true. In my case, my journey has included:

• School bullying
• Two divorces
• Personal bankruptcy and overwhelming debt
• Poor financial management, with a home in negative equity
• Two hip replacements, a mini-stroke, and several operations
• A slipped disc (prolapsed disc)
• Depression and even suicidal thoughts
• Three redundancies and career setbacks
• Shingles and other health issues
• Rejection, poor time management, low self-esteem, and a severe lack of confidence

 
However, the past eleven years have been transformative for me. I faced those issues head-on, worked through them, and as a result, my life has completely changed.
 
Today, at age 71, I run a successful business, am completely debt-free with money in the bank, and am very happily married (ten years in May). I have strong self-belief, a positive mindset, excellent time and financial management skills, and high energy.
 
Most importantly, because I’ve been through the darkest times and come out the other side, I can now help others stuck in similar struggles — showing them that change is possible and there is always hope.
 
 
The kids were boisterous.
 
I came across this remarkable true story in Word for Today about someone who made an incorrect assumption, which resulted in a specific response. Steven Covey’s best-selling book has sold over 40 million copies worldwide.
 
 
“In his best-selling book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, author Stephen Covey describes his experience on a subway in New York.
 
A man and his children boarded the train, and the children were so loud and rambunctious that they disrupted the entire car. The man sat down beside Covey, seemingly oblivious to the situation.
 
Covey finally said, ‘Sir, your children are disturbing many people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?’
 
The man looked startled. Then he said, ‘Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago.
 
I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.’
 
Covey’s attitude instantly changed. Looking back on it later, he admitted that he learned a valuable lesson: seek to understand before seeking to be understood.
 
Sometimes, the people who irritate and hurt us do so because they are in pain. They’re dealing with issues we don’t know about.
 
And when they lash out, it’s just the burst dam of personal frustration. And it calls for looking beyond their words and actions and trying to see their hearts. And that’s hard to do when you’re self-absorbed.
 
If you have been grumpy towards those you live with and work with, the word for today is – practise being tender-hearted.”
 
 
There’s a lot we can learn from this powerful story. Here are some key lessons:
 
Seek to Understand
Before judging others, take time to understand their situation. There’s often more going on beneath the surface.
 
Everyone Has Hidden Struggles
People’s actions are shaped by challenges we can’t always see. Compassion can make a real difference.
 
Choose Empathy Over Assumption
Instead of assuming the worst, consider what someone might be going through. Kindness starts with understanding.
 
Perspective Changes Everything
A slight shift in how we see others can completely change how we respond to them.
 
Practice Tenderness
We build stronger, more compassionate relationships by stepping outside our stress and focusing on others with care.
 
The key lesson: Be slower to judge, quicker to show compassion, and more intentional about understanding others.
 
 
Thoughts for the week 

1. Consider when someone’s behaviour upset or irritated you.
2. What did they do that bothered you? How did you react?
3. Now imagine that person was going through something difficult — a personal loss, stress, or pain you didn’t know about.
4. How might that change the way you see their actions? How might it change the way you respond?
5. In the next week, make a conscious effort to pause before reacting negatively to someone.

 
Well, that’s it for this week. Have a wonderful weekend, and keep believing.
 
Warm regards

John


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