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I met Dennis O’Connor in 2018. We immediately connected when he saw me speak at the Builders Merchants Federation (BMF) annual conference. He then booked me for his company and several more bookings in Ireland, plus personal coaching. During this time, we became good friends.
We have kept in touch regularly since then, and recently, he shared a true story with me that really touched me and highlighted what, for me, are the significant things in life. This is his story in his own words.
A happy ending.
“A few years back, I was contacted by a family who were considering selling their business. The business was set up in Ireland in the 1960s, a time of little prosperity. However, through hard work and the support of a local community, the business thrived, allowing the couple to rear their family and give them all a good education.
After years of a successful career, the oldest son returned to run the family business, allowing his parents to semi-retire. The company thrived again under his reign, but tragedy struck soon after when the son fell ill. After a short illness, he passed away in his early fifties.
It was then that his younger brother contacted me as they were considering their options for the business. The family decided to continue the business, which required his elderly father and his siblings to keep it running. This wasn’t easy as the parents were now in their eighties, and all siblings had careers and families to look after.
This time, they said yes.
Roll on ten years, and after returning from the city and joining a new company I wanted to grow, I contacted the family to let them know that I would be interested in talking to them if they were ever considering selling the business.
The reintroduction was met warmly, and after a brief discussion and an old-fashioned handshake, an agreement was made for my company to take over the business.
The sons sensitively managed the negotiations while conscious of their father’s wishes. Their father, now in his nineties, had suffered some ill health, but they knew the most important thing for their father was that the business would continue in the hands of a company that would be good custodians, a company that would be respectful of his staff, his customers, and his suppliers.
After the deal was signed, we agreed to meet the team to put their minds at ease about their jobs and conditions. At this time, I also met the father, the founder of the business.
He met the father.
He invited me into his home, which was located beside the business. I was struck by his similarity to my father, who had passed away a few years earlier.
They were similar in personality, similar in sayings, and just similar. Even the kitchen where we had the cup of tea was similar to my family home. We spoke about business, customers, family, and life for an hour or two.
I told him that I had lost a brother prematurely, and I knew the pain and suffering it heaped upon a family. At this time, he just looked across to his other son, and whilst no words were shared between the two- I recognised that look only too well.
Before I left, I shook his hand and told him that I was very aware of the struggles he and his wife must have had while trying to build up a business and that I would do everything I could to build on everything they had created.
He took the responsibility seriously.
In other words, I understood the responsibility I was taking on, and I wouldn’t take that responsibility lightly; after all, it was his name above the door.
Being a bit hard of hearing, he asked his son if I could repeat what I said. I repeated the assurance that I would do everything in my power to build the business and look after the staff. As I said this, I noticed a tear rolling down his cheek.
The following day, his son rang me to thank me for taking the time to meet their Dad and for my assurance about how we would look after his business and the people who were important to him.
A few days later, I heard their father had taken ill and had to be taken to hospital. Sadly, he passed away two days later. I attended his wake. In Ireland, bringing the person home a day before the funeral service is a tradition, allowing close family and friends to pay their last tribute to the person in their own home.
Mixed emotions
I met with his family, who were sad and happy. Sad to have lost him, but happy to have him so long as their Dad.
I went in to say my goodbyes to this man I had met for the first time two weeks earlier. I went into the room where he was laid out. I took time to look around the room, which I’m sure had been the centre of so much love and laughter in his lifetime.
Looking at him, I was drawn to the smile on his face. A smile that’s difficult to describe. Just to say, it was a smile of contentment.
On my long journey home, that thought and the image of that smile stayed with me, And the words that kept ringing through my mind were, ‘Isn’t that it,
Isn’t that the ultimate? It’s not the car, the bank account, the horse, or the yacht. It’s about living with struggles and sadness, happiness and love, and the opportunity to deal with all four. In doing so, you show an example to those around you, which acts as a rule book by which we all should live our lives.”
Thank you, Dennis, for sharing this story with me. I truly appreciate it, and it adds some richness to life.
This account teaches us several key lessons:
- Empathy and Understanding: Genuine human connection, like Dennis’s empathy towards the older man, has a profound impact beyond business transactions.
- Contentment in Life’s Journey: True happiness comes from living a full life, embracing both joys and hardships, not from material wealth.
- Human Connection: Brief moments of understanding and shared experiences can profoundly affect our lives.
- Embracing Life’s Ups and Downs: Accepting struggles and happiness is essential for a meaningful life.
- Leading by Example: Living with integrity and purpose can inspire others and serve as a guide for living.
- Peace in Death: Facing death with peace comes from living true to one’s values, filled with love and meaningful connections.
Ultimately, it’s not about material success but living a life of purpose, love, and integrity.
Thoughts for the week:
- What does true success look like?
- Is it money, material things, security and more stuff?
- Those mentioned above are important to a degree, but is there more to living a successful life?
- Is it about meaningful relationships, supporting others, contentment and gratitude, inner peace and acceptance?
- This week, ponder these things and see if anything settles in your heart.
Well, that’s it for this week. Have a wonderful weekend, and keep believing.
Warm regards
John
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