I remember when I was 5 years of age and in Primary school having to stand up and read in class. I had been born to Polish parents and couldn’t speak a word of English. I remember the sniggers and laughter from the other children and I was embarrassed and sat down humiliated. This happened over and over again.
I also remember my first PE lesson in school when all the boys were lined up against the wall and the teacher picked out four boys to be captains. These boys stepped out and turned round to face those lined up. Then one by one they picked their favourite pupils to be in their teams. I was putting my hand up to be picked but they were ignoring me.
A gangly uncoordinated boy
Through no fault of my own I had grown to be over 6-foot-tall at the age of 12 and was gangly and uncoordinated. All the boys knew this and so they ignored me. One by one the boys were selected until there were just a few boys left on the wall. I thought to myself ‘I wonder who will be the last boy left and how awful that will be’. Then, to my horror, not long after it was me left on the wall!
When I was aged 18 I remember having to introduce professor Brown to four students in a small room for a lecture and all I had to say was ‘Please welcome professor Brown’. I remember being asked to do this and I panicked. My palms were sweaty, my heart was thumping and there was this horrible noise in my head.
Petrified to speak
I went to the toilet to try to calm down but I couldn’t. I came back to that room and sat down with the four students looking straight at me. I tried to say those few words but I heard all these negative voices inside my head and I froze. There was no happy ending – I bottled it and he had to introduce himself.
There were many occasions during my business life where I would be in meetings with up to 15 people and we would go round the table introducing ourselves one by one. I remember the fear building up as each person introduced themselves and it got closer and closer to me. By the time there were just a couple of people left my heart was thumping, my palms were sweating and there were these negative voices in my head.
These were life defining moments for me during my upbringing and they shaped my life for many years. I had no confidence in myself and used to avoid any situation which involved any potential for public humiliation. I would simply avoid these and therefore reduced the chance of me progressing in my chosen career.
Then I was introduced to a confidence technique by my past sales director Harry Dunne from TFM radio in the North East. He gave me this technique which I now coach and train to help people perform under the highest pressure. This formula is so simple that it is barely believable but I have many testimonials confirming how well this technique works.
Live TV appearance
Fast forwarding to this week I had the pleasure of being asked to appear live on local Notts TV on their 6.30 show which is similar to the national One Show programme. Instead of dreading this opportunity I was very excited and agreed to appear. I took my basketball with me and spent a very enjoyable 30 minutes speaking about Mental Resilience and other topics.
The other guest with me was a great guy and the whole experience was amazing – I want more! How different this is to the boy I used to be. I have been in a bit of a daze thinking back to those difficult days and I am so grateful to Harry Dunne and the power of the mind to change things so dramatically.
The interview should be available soon and I will give you the link to it in next week’s blog for you to have a look. I took my basketball with me and was asked to spin it live on air sitting on a sofa – did I nail it??? You will have to wait for the link to see – talk about ultimate pressure!
Article in the Dubai Khaleej Times magazine
I am very excited for life right now with lots of things developing very nicely. It was a real surprise to receive a response from the Dubai Khaleej Times following our contacting all the media connections there. They phoned me a week before I left for a full interview and I sent them photographs. I contacted my hotel in Dubai to purchase 5 copies for me not knowing if I would actually be in the magazine as this is one of the biggest newspapers in Dubai.
When I arrived in Dubai and looked at the magazine I was shocked to have a 3-page spread. The article is still available on their website but I am not sure how long it will be there. The link is: http://www.khaleejtimes.com/lifestyle/when-the-going-gets-tough-the-tough-get-going
Thoughts for the week:
1. Your inner voice is very powerful – what is it saying to you on a daily basis?
2. You can create your own belief system on so many levels by listening to your inner voice whether negative or positive.
3. If you listen to you negative inner voice and focus on that, you will find that you end up with more negative things in your life
4. I used to have a negative inner voice and it controlled my life
5. I changed my inner dialogue to a positive inner voice a few short years ago and everything has changed for the better
6. Observe what you are saying to yourself on a minute by minute basis, if it is more negative than positive you need to change it
7. My belief system was that I could not talk in public
8. With a few techniques I have changed that to ‘I love speaking in public’ and the evidence is there to demonstrate this
9. If you think you can or think you can’t you are right either way – Henry Ford
Well that’s it for this week.
Have a wonderful weekend and stay positive.
Off the Wall – How to Develop World Class Mental Resilience available here