It’s Not What Happens but How You Respond!

Well England came so close yet so far! They didn’t make it to the final and that is very disappointing for everyone, but this isn’t the end of the story. They are a young team who can improve and with the right mindset can come back stronger.

We learn more when things go wrong than when things go right. As I look back on my life I can pinpoint times of failure which resulted in a springboard to future success. I learned a great deal from my first two marriages which has resulted in an amazing marriage to Julie. I never believed there could be such fulfilment and happiness in a marriage!

What a disaster

I recall forgetting to connect my power lead to my computer when I was speaking on a Cruise to the Caribbean and the PowerPoint shut down halfway through my presentation. I recall the horror of that moment.

An audience of over 100 listened to me telling personal stories as the technicians found my power lead and reconnected my laptop.

It got worse

But that wasn’t the end of it. As the laptop powered up the message appeared ‘Install Windows Updates’ which took another 3-4 minutes – Aaaghhhh! Guess what – I have never forgotten to connect my laptop since then!

The pain of that moment is seared in my subconscious and I now automatically connect it. I also produced a check list from that moment which I go through at every presentation. It’s not what happens but how you respond.

I performed well under that pressure and learned from it

Fortunately for me I actually did well during that horror moment as I performed well under that pressure and told interesting stories to keep the audience interested until everything was up and running. You never know how you will respond to a high-pressure situation until you experience it!

The England team have a choice to make. They can embrace the success of reaching the semi-final and stay positive to reach the next level or they can focus on the performance in the semi-final and let the negative emotions linked to that disappointment affect them adversely.

The fun seemed to stop

They had a great fun team spirit in the early stages and that seemed to disappear to a degree when they reached the semi-finals. The pressure built, and the smiles and fun were less evident. When you are carefree and having fun, you don’t feel the pressure as much and you perform better.

So, the future of our England team depends to a degree on how they respond to the disappointment of losing in the semi-finals. If they learn from the experience and take away the positives from it, then the future is rosy.

So much depends on Mental Resilience

At the highest level of sport, the experts say that up to 90% of success is mental. It’s about seeing a positive outcome in your mind and having a positive inner voice believing that you will succeed. We will see in the years to come how they respond.

Thoughts for the week:

1. How do you respond to negative situations?
2. Do you learn from them or just experience them?
3. Look back at your life and recall negative situations and see if you can find one where you learned a good lesson from it.
4. From now on when you experience something negative don’t let it go until you have learned something from it.

Well that’s it for this week have a wonderful weekend and stay positive.

Warm regards


Off the Wall – How to Develop World Class Mental Resilience available here (Special offer. Put in code 10POUND when prompted to receive a signed copy for £10 including postage and packing – UK only)

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