What If Forgiveness Is the Key to Your Freedom?

This blog is a bit longer than usual, but today’s topic is significant. I’ve been wanting to write about forgiveness for a while now. It’s a powerful thing—but also incredibly difficult. Recently, something I read made me pause and reflect, and I felt it was time to share my own experience.
 
When someone hurts you, forgiveness can feel impossible—and unfair. And you’re right, it isn’t fair. But for the sake of your own mental and physical health, it’s something worth considering.
 
Because forgiveness isn’t about them—it’s about you.
 
In my earlier years, I held onto anger toward a few people who hurt me. I thought about them all the time, and it left me angry and emotionally drained. Then I read a line that changed everything:
 
“They’re not thinking about you; they are blissfully getting on with their lives—you’re the one still suffering.”
 
That truth hit hard. I realised I was carrying pain, and they had moved on.
 
So, I chose to forgive. It took time, but eventually, I felt peace. The anger faded, and those people no longer lived in my mind. Forgiveness didn’t excuse what happened. It gave me my life back. Forgiveness didn’t change the past. But it changed me. And that made all the difference.
 
 
Story of Eva Kor – Forgiveness After Auschwitz
 
Eva Kor was just 10 years old when she and her twin sister, Miriam, were taken to Auschwitz. There, they were subjected to cruel medical experiments by the infamous Nazi doctor Josef Mengele.
 
For decades, Eva lived with deep pain, anger, and trauma. But in 1995, she made a controversial and deeply personal decision: she forgave the Nazis.
 
Not to excuse them—but to free herself.
 
“I had the power to forgive. No one could give me that power, and no one could take it away.”
 
That choice brought her peace. It didn’t erase the past, but it gave her control over her future. Eva went on to speak around the world and founded the CANDLES Holocaust Museum to promote healing, education, and the power of forgiveness. 
 
 
Story of Mary Johnson and the Man Who Killed Her Son
 
In 1993, Mary Johnson’s only son, 20-year-old Laramiun Byrd, was shot and killed during an argument at a party in Minneapolis. His killer, a 16-year-old named Oshea Israel, was tried as an adult and sent to prison for 25 years.
 
For many years, Mary was consumed by grief, anger, and bitterness. But over time, she realised that holding on to hatred was only deepening her pain. So she did something extraordinary—she chose to forgive Oshea.
 
Years later, she visited him in prison. That first meeting was difficult and emotional, but something shifted. Over time, they built a relationship. When Oshea was released after serving his sentence, Mary helped him find housing—next door to her.
 
Today, they share their story together at schools and events, speaking about forgiveness, healing, and the importance of second chances.
 
“Unforgiveness is like a cancer. It will eat you from the inside out,” Mary says.
“Forgiveness is not just for him—it was for me too.”
 
 Forgiveness has been shown, both scientifically and spiritually, to bring a wide range of benefits. It’s not just about the other person; it’s often a powerful gift to yourself.
 
 
Here’s a breakdown of the key benefits of forgiveness:

• Reduces anger, resentment, and bitterness

            Forgiveness helps release toxic emotions that weigh you down emotionally.

• Improves mental health

            Studies link forgiveness to lower rates of depression, anxiety, and stress.

• Restores inner peace

            It can lift emotional burdens and bring a deep sense of relief and calm.

• Strengthens resilience

            Individuals who forgive tend to recover from trauma more quickly.

• Lowers blood pressure and heart rate

            Letting go of anger has been shown to reduce stress-related health
            problems.

• Strengthens the immune system

            Chronic anger and stress can weaken the immune system; forgiveness helps
            reverse this effect.

• Improves sleep

            Less emotional turmoil = better rest.

• Leads to freedom and peace of mind

            Holding a grudge can keep you emotionally stuck; forgiveness allows growth.
 
“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
— Often attributed to Nelson Mandela 
 
 
Simple Exercise: “Write and Release”
 
Take a piece of paper and write a letter to the person or situation that hurt you. 

• Say what happened.
• Say how it made you feel.
• Say what you wish had happened instead.
• End with a statement like: “I choose to release this pain now—not for them, but for me.” 

You don’t have to send it. You can tear it up, burn it (safely), or keep it in a journal as a marker of your strength. 
 
Thoughts for the week: 

1. What is one hurt you’ve been carrying for a long time?
2. What impact has it had on you—emotionally, physically, spiritually?
3. What would it feel like to let that pain go?
4. What might forgiveness look like in this situation?
5. Does it mean writing a letter (even if you don’t send it)? 

Well, that’s it for this week. Have a wonderful weekend, and keep believing.
 
Warm regards

John

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