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Something happened yesterday which could have been life changing in a disastrous way, from which I am still recovering. This was a major incident which challenged my Mental Resilience to come through this in a positive way. I don’t want to share this with you today, (I am using all my Mental Resilience to write this blog) as I want to wait for the positives to come out of this traumatic situation.
I really believe that ‘Every adversity carries with it a seed of equal or Greater benefit’ and that the positives will reveal themselves as the dust settles on this event. I am pleased to be sat at my laptop being able to type even though I am in quite a lot of pain as I write this. So until the positives reveal themselves and I have the opportunity to share them with you, I won’t reveal what happened.
Great start to the day
Please excuse any mistakes in this blog as my mind isn’t quite right yet, but I am sure it will be in the next few days as I recover. Ironically the day started really well with one of the best talks I have given on Mental Resilience and I sold 17 books out of 25 attendees. It was a bright sunny day and I was very happy indeed. You could almost describe it as euphoric.
How quickly things can change! The delegates commented on my personal story which I often share on how I have overcome many difficult things in my life. They are inspired with my attitude and how that attitude has helped me progress to where I am now and to where I am heading with my wife Julie. I have already been to Dubai twice with another trip scheduled in to speak in November.
It’s all about how you respond
There are also two other countries on the horizon for this year. People say that the authenticity of my story is very powerful and that I am planning to be speaking on stage at the age of 80 just adds inspiration. One thing I say is that it is inevitable that challenges will present themselves on my journey into my 80’s, but I will use my usual Positive Attitude to deal with them.
“It’s not what happens to you that counts, but How you respond to it.” This is one of my quotes which I believe in deeply. The way I am feeling right now is not great but I am enjoying writing this blog and I have sent artwork to my designer for an e-booklet. I’ve also organised delivery of the Arabian Business magazines from Dubai which ran a 4 page feature on me a couple of weeks ago.
The Reframe technique
If I focused on my pain and the negative situation I am currently in, I would more than likely be at home feeling sorry for myself. I would probably be on the sofa or in bed feeling a little depressed. But instead I have driven to a lovely coffee shop to write this blog and sort out the backlog of emails. Because of this I feel that I am achieving something positive, and so I feel good.
What we focus on determines how we feel. During my talk yesterday I went through the ‘Reframe Technique’ and this is something I am working on with a vengeance in my current situation. The reframe technique is an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) technique where you find something positive in a negative situation. For example if you have the flu you don’t focus on the symptoms you look at the positives like: time off work, being looked after by someone, time to rest etc.
Focus on the positives
Another example would be being under pressure at work. If you focus on the pressure, you feel stressed; but if you focus on the positives you will feel better. The positives could be that you are trusted to do the work, that you are busy and not bored. That you have a job and receive a salary, also the only time you grow as a person and character is when you are under pressure.
When you are not under pressure you are resting and recovering which is vitally important. When you are on holiday, out for a meal or relaxing at the weekend your body and mind are recovering. This is equivalent to servicing your car on a regular basis – if you fail to service the car, eventually it will break down.
Stretch your comfort zone
When you are under pressure you are growing your comfort zone in various areas. As you are stretched to uncomfortable levels, your comfort zone grows and grows. My personal example would be that 40 years ago I had to introduce professor Brown to four students sat round a table and I couldn’t do it.
I remember that my palms were sweating, my heart was thumping and there was this noise in my head. I went to the toilet to try to calm down, and then I came back and sat down. The four students were all looking at me and I froze…….there was no happy ending – I bottled it. He had to introduce himself!
Confidence Formula
Several years later I was introduced to a confidence formula which I worked on, but the only way to practice this was to put myself in front of people over and over again. I increased the number of people I spoke to bit by bit, until I was speaking comfortably and with confidence to 20 people. Then this increased to 30, then 50 then 100, now I speak to hundreds and love it! I pushed my comfort zone over and over again and it has grown, as have I.
Thoughts for the week:
1. When you next face something negative in your day, see if you can find a seed of positivity about it.
2. You will need to believe that there is something positive in order to find it.
3. It will take practice and at first it will be difficult and you may just give up.
4. But if you are persistent and Commit (The First key pillar to Mental Resilience) to finding something positive, then I believe you will every time
5. Spending a little time finding the positive will have huge benefits to your mindset and your response to negative events.
6. When you find something positive about the negative situation, focus on that instead of the negative thing.
7. Consider the phrase ‘Every adversity carries with it a seed of equal or Greater benefit’.
Well that’s it for this week; I’ll let you know about my drama yesterday when I have found the seeds of positivity, and will share those with you.
Have a lovely weekend
Warm regards
John
Off the Wall – How to Develop World Class Mental Resilience available here
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