Blog
Complaining is something most of us do without even realising it.
We complain about traffic, work pressure, difficult people, technology, lack of time, and everyday frustrations. Yet the more we complain, the more negative our thinking becomes.
I once read a powerful statement that said:
“Reducing complaining won’t just make everyone around you happier… you’ll experience more joy, peace, success and positive relationships.”
That really made me stop and think.
Over the years, working with business leaders, professionals and teams around the world, I’ve noticed something important. The happiest and most resilient people are not those with perfect lives. They are the people who have learned to direct their focus.
As I often say in my masterclasses:
“What you think is what you feel.”
Here are four simple but powerful ways to reduce complaining and improve your mindset.
1. Practise Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the quickest ways to change your emotional state.
A simple exercise I often recommend is writing down three things you are grateful for every evening.
They don’t have to be major things. It could be:
A good conversation
Your health
A supportive colleague
A peaceful walk
A small success during the day
Gratitude shifts your focus away from what is wrong and towards what is good.
And it’s impossible to feel deeply grateful and deeply negative at the same time.
2. Encourage Others
Many people are quick to criticise but slow to encourage.
Instead of focusing on what people are doing wrong, try noticing what they are doing right.
A few genuine words of encouragement can dramatically lift someone’s confidence and motivation.
I often suggest a simple rule:
For every criticism, aim to give at least three pieces of praise or encouragement.
People grow stronger when they feel valued and appreciated.
3. Focus on Success
Your mind grows stronger in the direction of your focus.
That’s why I encourage many coaching clients to keep a simple success journal.
Before going to bed, write down one thing that went well during the day.
It could be:
Completing an important task
Staying calm under pressure
Exercising
Helping someone
Making progress towards a goal
Small wins build confidence.
And confidence builds momentum.
4. Learn to Let Go
One of the biggest causes of stress is trying to control everything.
We cannot control every person, situation or outcome in life.
The more tightly we try to control things, the more frustrated we often become.
Real peace comes from focusing on what we can influence and learning to let go of the rest.
Sometimes we have to do our best, trust the process and place the bigger picture in God’s hands.
3 Key Learnings
• What you focus on emotionally becomes stronger.
• Gratitude and encouragement improve resilience and wellbeing.
• Letting go of what you cannot control creates greater peace.
It Worked for Me
Many years ago, I was struggling financially and working long days as a painter and decorator while trying to build my speaking business.
It would have been easy to complain constantly about my circumstances.
But eventually I realised something important.
Complaining was not changing my life.
What started changing my life was focusing on what I could control.
I began practising gratitude, learning new skills and encouraging myself instead of constantly criticising myself.
Slowly, opportunities began to appear.
Years later, I’ve now delivered more than 30 international speaking engagements and worked with incredible organisations.
That journey didn’t begin because life suddenly became easy.
It began because my focus changed.
Thoughts for the Week
- What are you focusing on most each day?
- Who around you needs encouragement?
- What could change if you focused more on progress and less on problems?
That’s it for this week.
Have a wonderful week ahead, and keep believing in yourself.
Warm regards
John
https://jdmindcoach.com/product/off-the-wall-how-to-develop-world-class-mental-resilience/
Share this post!
Share this post!
Recent Posts
